Momspaz

At this point, my husband is my only follower on my blog so this post should be interesting. I have not blogged in ages. Why? I was pregnant. I was birthing a baby. I am raising a baby? My life has been chaotic? All of the above. Any of it my choice? Yes, about ten percent of this past year has been my choice. The baby was that ten percent. Now? My life is 100% baby and that is my choice and wonderful.
In the future, when I write about being a mother I focus on all the things I do right. However, today has been a tough day on me. Not because I can't find a million things I did right today, because I can. But, because it takes just one fall to remind you that life is fragile.
Today, I watched my 9 1/2 month old son climb down a concrete step and hit his head. I was there to catch him and I missed. What kind of a mother misses. I'm certain that if he could remember this time in his life, he would hold this as a failure in the "mother" category.
Life has changed incredibly these last 12 months. I won't get into all the detail here. Just know that if you suffer from depression or what seems to be uncontrollable weight gain, you are not alone. I am with you. I am your shadow. I will beat this... this evil that seems to want to control my life. Life is good. Life gets better. What do I do right? A million things everyday...